Days with Nightmares and Depression... But Now I Became Happy in the Lord
Sister Kelly Escobar Alzamora (Peru Manmin Church)
My father was an alcoholic, and had affairs with other women. I was mistreated by my half siblings, so I had to leave home. I lived in my relative's house, and got by there. Due to this situation, my mother's heart was broken so much.
To make matters worse, my uncle sexually molested me many times when I was 11. I frequently cried by myself in the midst of fear. I couldn't sleep tight due to fear that he would come to my room and sexually abuse me.
I had a nightmare every night. I couldn't understand why things like these happened to me. Afterwards, hatred and anger towards my father increased and even toward people of the opposite sex. So I would not need to rely on men and to live my own life, I studied hard and read many books. I entered the National Police Academy. I was still caught up in nightmares every night. I tried attending the Catholic Church to have peace, but it was of no help.
I found my life to be difficult and felt more troubled over time. I even had depression. I often abused and inflicted pain on myself listening to sad music in my room alone. After graduating from the Academy, depression struck me more strongly because of work overload and stressful situations in the relationships with other people.
In October, 2011, one of my superiors asked me to go to his church. At first, I hesitated, but I couldn't reject him. I finally went to the church. I think it was the most critical decision in my life. This is because my life took a huge turn while participating in the service of Manmin Central Church via GCN TV.
I experienced the Holy Spirit in the 'Thursday Fullness of the Spirit Prayer Meeting', and I gained great realization through Dr. Jaerock Lee's sermons. In particular, his sermon series entitled "The Message of the Cross" let me know how the Lord forgave and gave the grace of salvation to sinners like us; how much God hates hatred, anger, and hard-feelings in us; and how painful it is that we have such evil in our hearts. I attended Daniel Prayer Meeting and endeavored to cast away evil with tearful repentance.
Afterwards, by the grace of God I could get rid of anger that had filled my heart and forgive those who had broken my heart. Peace came to my heart. As I put down the heavy burdens in my heart joy began to overflow and I no longer had depression. I was happier when listening to praise than when listening to sad music. I came to hate the worldly things.
These days, my faith has increased greatly and I've experienced God's grace many times. The framework of negative thoughts has been broken, so I became a positive person. And I received love and recognition in the home and workplace. I've also received a lot of financial blessings. In May, 2012, Pastor Soojin Lee from Manmin Central Church visited Peru and led a crusade. When I escorted her in close proximity, I felt the deeper love of God.
Because I am a police woman, I am able to meet a lot of people. I have preached the gospel to them with hope that they would find God and experience His love. I also pray for tremendous numbers of Peruvian souls to reach salvation and possess beautiful Heaven. I give all thanks and glory to God the Trinity.
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